Portugal

Every time there is an election there seem to be more Facebook posts about people wanting to leave the country if a certain candidate wins or a certain one loses. Even before social media became what it is today, we used to read quotes from celebrities in magazines expressing the same sentiment. Since the results of this election I have gotten so many messages on Facebook asking how to move to Portugal or what our experience has been like. The first thing I’ll say is that if you want to leave the US you have to look at multiple sources and opinions. Our experience has been great, which I think has been part organization and decent decision making, and part luck.

We moved to Portugal without ever having visited. We did not speak a word of the language and did not know that much about the culture. Every now and then I wonder why some people enjoy living abroad and others move back to their home country. I read a decent amount on expat boards and one complaint I see time and time again is that youtubers and bloggers paint too rosy of a picture and don’t really provide an accurate picture of what life is like. Another pretty common thing I see is that if you are moving to a foreign country to flee yours, it might not work out. Of course there will be exceptions, but in general it seems that to have a chance at flourishing in your new country you need to have an interest in getting to know that country.

When we moved to Portugal there were a number of reasons we did so. One of them was to leave the US and to get away from what it was becoming. I knew that I could not raise kids there. So yes, a part of us wanted to flee. But that was not the main reason. I have always wanted to live abroad and I love traveling. My original plan was to retire abroad, but luckily I got to move abroad much sooner than anticipated. I did not know a lot about the Portuguese culture, but I did know that they truly value family and that the average Portuguese citizen does not own a gun. That was good enough for me. When we moved here I did not want to move to another version of the US. I wanted to get to know Portugal, the language, the traditions, and the people. If your sole reason for moving to a foreign country is to flee the US then it is going to be a bumpy ride. It will probably be a bumpy ride regardless.

I love living in Portugal and I have no regrets. Even so, it’s not a perfect country by any means. No country is going to be perfect. To me it’s all about tradeoffs. Portugal has a lot of abandoned buildings. It’s difficult to find housing. The language is hard to learn. There are many times when we use a translator to translate something and even with the words in English we still can’t understand what the meaning is. When we have to fill out paperwork we always need to translate it, which takes considerably longer. When we help Sofia with her homework we have to use a translator to understand what she needs to do. Even with a translator sometimes we just don’t understand.

Kyle and I were talking yesterday about how Portugal isn’t a convenient country- they are not really into convenience here. Even if something can be done online, it usually has to be printed out and filled out manually and then submitted. This is not our native culture and some things we just don’t understand. We keep trying to learn, but in some ways this does make daily life harder. When you live in your home country there is a certain ease of just understanding- understanding the language, understanding the culture, understanding why. We don’t have that here and we have to think a lot more. Living in a foreign country is more mentally exhausting because day to day life just requires more focus. I have to really focus when people speak to me in Portuguese so that I can hopefully understand enough words to figure out what they’re saying.

But then on the flip side, Portuguese people are generally amazing. When we first moved here, completely overwhelmed and with two little babies Portuguese people always helped us. I have so many memories of carrying strollers up and down stairs and Portuguese people would always grab one of the kid’s hands to help them go up or down the stairs. Portuguese people hate Trump- at least in our experience. This happened more when we first moved here, though I’m sure it will start happening again. When people find out we’re American some Portuguese ask us if we’re Trump supporters. I’m not sure why they ask, but they are always relieved when we vehemently say no. I have no doubt that most Portuguese people are horrified by the results of the US election. I live in a country that despises Donald Trump and I am grateful for that.

I have anxiety and I notice it in Portugal a lot when it comes to walking into a store. I have this anxiety that someone is going to say something to me in Portuguese and I won’t understand them. Sometimes I avoid going into the store because of this anxiety. Sometimes I go in and they don’t say anything. Sometimes they do say something and I understand it. And sometimes I don’t understand. It always turns out okay. It really is no big deal, and yet that specific anxiety is a constant in my life here and it actually impacts decisions that I make. It wasn’t that way in the US because of course I always understood what was said to me. It sounds silly, and in some ways it is, but at the same time that is something that I have had to adjust to that I did not really consider before moving here.

The tradeoff is that my anxiety over school shootings and mass shootings in general has gone down significantly. My kids are in school right now and I have no anxiety that they will die at school today. None. That is absolutely worth feeling some anxiety that I won’t understand what people are saying to me.

I have lived in Portugal for the past 3 years and I don’t know what life is like in the US right now. I know that for most of the people I care about it’s a sad and scary time. I know a lot of people are looking for a way out. I absolutely love living in Portugal, but it took a good amount of work to get here. It took planning and money. And also some luck. If you really are looking to flee the US then think about what you want in the place that you will call home. And then start researching and planning. You won’t be able to leave today, but maybe in a few months or so. Living abroad is hard. I love it and I would do it again and again, but that doesn’t make it the right choice for everyone.

I can become fluent in Portuguese and I can live here for the next 40 years of my life and I will still never fully fit in. I will never be Portuguese. At the same time, I will never fully fit into the US either, even though I spent the first half of my life there. Once I left the country I knew that I would never fully fit in anywhere. I will never be Portuguese, but I will never quite fit in with Americans who have never lived abroad either. Portugal has influenced me too much. I knew this would happen before we moved and I accept all of it. My kids will have a much different upbringing than I did. At this point they have now spent more of their lives in Portugal than in the US. My kids are US citizens by birth, but they will grow up more Portuguese than American. At some point they will have traditions and beliefs that differ than mine because they will be heavily influenced by a culture that I am still learning about.

I’m not trying to talk anyone out of moving. I feel for anyone who feels unsafe where they are. Moving abroad is hard, but if you’re reading this then maybe the thought of staying in the US is harder. Some of the stuff I have been reading today on social media is terrifying. Before we moved to Portugal we looked pretty seriously at moving to Mexico, Costa Rica, Panama, and Spain. Mexico, Costa Rica, and Panama had pretty easy visa requirements back then. Spain is not difficult either, it just has a higher income requirement. I know there are some American expat communities around France as well. No matter where you go you will need some kind of job, unless you’re retired or independently wealthy of course. It’s always going to be easier if you can bring a job with you. If you want to leave your best bet is to find a virtual job. I know it’s tough to find work in Portugal, and most countries give priority to their citizens over immigrants. So if you’re wanting to leave the first thing you need to figure out is how to earn money.

If you’re looking to move to Portugal specifically then feel free to send me a message. The visa requirements and application process have changed since we moved here, so I won’t be a ton of help with visa info. Go back to my 2021 entries to get an idea for what applying and moving will look like. If you want to meet up with someone for a scouting trip or when you make the move just let me know. It’s about time I push past some of this anxiety and get out there and start socializing and meeting people. And if you’re fleeing the US because of the election results then you are my kind of people.

I can’t remember the exact day we came to Portugal, but it has been 3 years now (give or take a few days)! I remember that on our 1 year anniversary it still felt kind of surreal and at this point I suppose I have accepted that we do actually live in Portugal. We have come a long way and I feel pretty good about things except for our language skills, and that we still have our US driver’s licenses. Now that things are starting to settle down, we will be focusing on those things. We started a Portuguese class a few weeks ago through Portuguese Language Lessons that we are liking so far. It feels nice at least making the effort to learn Portuguese again.

The kids started school last month and they are absolutely thriving. I still can’t believe how much they enjoy school- especially Leo. Sofia has always enjoyed going out and doing things and socializing, but Leo is more of a home body. He absolutely loves going to school though and even has some friends. They started swim class again last week and they’re liking that too. It’s so nice to see them really thriving and enjoying life.

I just got back from Seville, Spain a few days ago. It reminded me of Portugal in some ways- probably mostly because it has a lot of the cobblestone sidewalks like Portugal does instead of the smooth ones that we have seen in other parts of Spain. When we looked at moving to Spain people said that they don’t really speak much English in Spain, which we have found to be true of Barcelona and Valencia- but it’s absolutely not true for Seville. My Spanish is good enough to get by on, but every time I spoke to someone in Seville they almost immediately switched to English. I heard a ton of English speaking tourists there as well.

I like Seville- it has some nice sites and a lot of variety in their restaurants. There is a ton of shopping there as well. I only stayed on one side of the river and it seems like there was stuff to do on the other side as well. It was a good sized city, especially if you’re traveling around on foot. Unfortunately it rained most of the time that I was there, but I came prepared with my umbrella and rain coat. I did get a break in the rain to go see the view from Setas de Sevilla. That was definitely my favorite experience in Seville. The structure was interesting to look at from the ground and the views from the top were great. I have a very strong fear of heights, but I also love views from up high. I almost always have a panic attack when I go up to high places, but it’s worth the view. In this case I didn’t have a panic attack because the structure masks how high up you up. You have to deliberately lean over to look down, which I only did once. So I got to walk around without having that fear constantly triggered, which was a really nice thing, lol.

I forgot the name- this was another palace

My second favorite was Palacio de las Duenas. There is a self-guided audio tour and most of it involves walking around the grounds. They had a beautiful garden there and I really loved walking around there. Traveling alone wasn’t as fun as it used to be. It has been at least 10-15 years since I have gone on a solo trip. I’m glad I went, but it’s just more fun to experience with someone else. Sofia would have enjoyed a lot of what I was doing and I wished she was there with me.

Every time I leave Portugal I don’t mind coming back. When we lived in the US I never wanted to come home. That applied to everywhere we lived- Colorado, Florida, South Carolina…we would go on vacation and I would get so upset at having to go back home, but now a part of me enjoys coming home. Portugal really feels like home more than anywhere else has in a long time. When we moved here a part of me worried that we would visit Spain and I would like it more. When it was just me, Kyle, and Sofia, we were 100% set on Valencia, Spain. Then I got pregnant with Leo and the income requirements for Spain became higher than I wanted to deal with, so we started to look more seriously at Portugal.

At first it kind of felt like Portugal was our backup choice, though I quickly found things about Portugal I liked. Since moving here Portugal has never been a backup choice. I have been to Spain a handful of times now, and I have even been to Valencia. I don’t dislike Spain, I just like Portugal more for our current stage of life. I even liked Valencia, and there is a ton to do there, but I’m happy we ended up in Portugal. It’s a nice reminder every time I leave how much I love it here.

Speaking of leaving, I’m already working on a few trips. My number one priority is to go to The Netherlands with Sofia next year to see the tulips. Tulips season coincides with Sofia’s Easter break from school, so I really want to make that trip happen. Originally we were planning on going to Disneyland Paris for Christmas this year, but we just can’t make that happen. The only money I will lose is on our plane tickets to Paris because that is all that I paid for so far. Now that I know I have plane tickets to Paris already my brain has been turning and I’m wondering if I can make some kind of trip happen, even if it’s not to Disneyland. We’ll have to see. Work has been really feast or famine lately, and I really want to build up more savings so I’m not so stressed when the famine part hits. But if I can make Paris happen right before Christmas I definitely will. Paris is definitely out of my comfort zone because of the language barrier, but I know I need to visit eventually and Christmas seems like a great time to see Paris.